Alone?

I sit in my room and wonder why it is I really came here. I'm not really making friends very well... mostly I'm just in a situation I'm really not used to. The people here like me ok, but I don't really want to be outgoing just now.

Like Remiel, I know that I came here to be stronger, but I don't know what that means, really. I had a lot of love going for me back home, and I know that it'll still be there when I get back. We're watching Lord of the Rings when I get back. No questions. Haha, and Lacey, you and I are definitely having a bleach marathon!

But the thing is, I'm finding strength in all the places I didn't expect it. Literally I'm gaining strength in my legs and adapting to very different sleeping conditions (didier snores and sleeps with the windows open which is frosty and insane). Mentally, I'm getting used to being alone. You know, I really enjoy it. At mealtimes there is always someone to talk to, and in class I'm not alone, but I come to relish the opportunities to come back to my room and work on my story or blog (I write in my story on notepad if the internet is fritzy)...

Also, the lack of people I really appreciate makes me enjoy my friends at home even more, and I want to go home, but I'm too excited to see how this all works out. The people here make me feel uninteresting, but so what? I don't have to be the center of attention. I think it's a blessing, because all my life I've been uncomfortable with being in the background, and here it's something I'm forced into.

I love you. I miss you. I hope things are going well.

Molly, hope you find a job soon.

Sara, I hope you get a breadstarter (:D).

Lacey, hope nursing's not kicking your butt too much.

The places where I'm not doing well I am learning, so don't worry about me, ok? I'm proving my existance. It's what I need right now. Thanks for letting me have this selfish year.