It's All Downhill From Here!

I'm going to punch the next person who says that to me. Today I hiked up to the top of the Saleve, which took almost 2 hours. It was the absolute most intense experience of my life. I felt like chopping my legs off, vomiting, and quitting. I did rest about 15 times, no exaggerating, but I never gave up. At the top, the only real satisfaction was knowing I had done it, because the view was... a bunch of cow pastures. Not even remotely worth it. In the distance you could see Mt. Blanc, which might have been cooler if I had not been there two days ago and been at the top above the clouds. Anyways, even the satisfaction of having climbed it soon faded when I discovered that the way back was just as painful and twice as dangerous. In short, I'm not climbing that mountain again. If I do, it'll be long into the future.

In other news, after tomorrow I intend to write my story again.

The Great Planners

Today we spent 4 hours planning our trip. Everything was very expensive because we have a break in less than a month and hadn't even decided where to go. We were going to go to Tuscany and see the countryside, but airfare was ridiculous and we could only fly from BVA, which is marked as a Paris airport, even though it's about two hours from Paris. We then went into a big session of where to go: find another way to Tuscany? Corsica? Travel around France? Poland and the Czech Republic? Spain? Finally I pushed for Ireland. Everyone was concerned that it was expensive, and for flights and hostels, it ended up being nearly 300 dollars, but honestly, we've been saving up for this. We were told that we'd be needing to have at least four times that much, and we've got 4 breaks. This is what all of us wanted to do the most, and we're all really happy with it. I'm obviously going to be killed to death by Jeff and Linda if I don't get something good for them while I'm there, but I'll be sure to do that. Fortunately, next time we'll make sure to plan ahead better, so hopefully it'll be less expensive for airfare. But Ireland is right there at the top of my list and I'll make sure to post some good photos!

Mt. Blanc

My head wasn't in the clouds today, no. The clouds didn't come close. My head was spinning, because the pressure was so different on top of that mountain, the tallest in Europe. The peaks of other mountains broke through the sea of clouds, like islands of their own. The world seemed a much smaller place from the top, and there were for a short time there was no thought given to petty problems . We came part of the way back to earth, and we had an exploration of the mountains. Three of the group jumped into a big green lake in the mountain, but I declined. I need to stop saying no to opportunities... though I really didn't want everyone to see my pudge. Maybe when i lose some weight I'll pull something like that, but for now it's not on the itinerary.

A very tiring, but very awesome day. Check the photos out on facebook.

Allons-y! Monter la Saleve!

Today we're going to climb the mountain. I can't express how nervous this makes me. One of the people here is telling me that the steepest part of the climb from Collonges to the school is tamer than the least steep part of the Saleve. Translation: Out of shape Jed is going to have many difficulties getting his butt up that mountain. It is rather misty today, however... so I don't know if they'll try to do it another day, but either way, I really want to get up that mountain some time. It'll probably be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

But I can hope that the rewards will be well worth the effort. Everyone says that the view from the top is nigh unbeatable, and knowing that I got to the top? That's what I want.

Tuesdays I Meet My Dealer...

Class seemed to go on forever today, which is ironic, because we got completely done at 12:40. Then after lunch, we went to Geneva. Geneva is amazing, can I just tell you. For 2 Euros or 3 Francs you can ride the trams for an hour, so if you're not spending a long time there, you could theoretically ride to any part of town and come back.

We went to the park in the middle of the University of Geneva's campus, and there was a big, tree lined road with a gelato stand and hundreds of benches, it was gorgeous. We sat there all day and watched the people go by. When some other group members met us, we started speaking english and a girl named Farah came up and said "Thank God, I was starting to get sick of speaking French." She was smoking, and one of the guys with us noticed it was not a cigarette. Weed. He tried some, she gave him her number and life story, it was very awesome just meeting someone out of the blue like that. I'm sure if I did drugs it'd be even more awesome.

The park was so warm and bright, and the grass looked so soft. Next time I'll make sure to bring a blanket and just spread out. It was really awesome just being there, listening to the French and German and Italian... I loved it. I'll upload pictures to my FB when Ludine puts them on the internet.

G'night, all.

Send a Heartbeat To the Void That Runs Through You

Tomorrow I'm going to go to Geneva for real. Like actually get to spend some time there rather than sit in my dorm room all day lamenting that I have nothing to do :p

There's this girl that makes me laugh every day, her name is Bibi. She speaks Spanish, but she speaks it THE RIGHT WAY. Every time she speaks it, she makes sure everyone knows, because she's from Spain. There's a lisp to it and it's very cute. There's this guy named Guillermo in our Niveau, which is 2, or Intermediate level. He speaks... some language that none of us are sure what it is... it's some kind of crazy mix of french and spanish. Whenever the teachers grant him a new term, he makes sure to turn to Bibi and say what it is in Spanish, which irritates her very visibly. She's much smarter than he is and it's very funny. I tease her that she's really bella swan and she's going to run off with the vampires, and she tells me that when I get back to America I'm going to be one of America's top models.

This sunday we're going to a city called Chamonix Chamonix (linked photos)... which should be fun. It's supposed to be a very froid place. I think after that trip I'll likely have enough inspiration to write more, so look forward to that!

So I can't say this to anyone here, because I'd just feel too bad, but there's this really REALLY hideous German girl, and she's got braces and a mutant face that is like that lady from Dodgeball... ugh... she was eating across from me and making noise while she ate, and I was having a tough time not throwing up. Also, she was wearing a shirt that said Stonhenge rocks. I was also having difficulty not laughing, which certainly would have led to me throwing up on her face. Awwwwkwaaaaaard.

Christmas...

So. I won't be able to come home for Christmas. The books told me not to do it, the people here have been telling me not to do it, and now my dad has decided with me that it's a bad idea. I'm not doing this so that I can surprise you later, I really am not coming home for Christmas. I'll be in Paris and London, so it'll still be awesome, and if you want to send me a present or some money... (shameless, I am) haha. So really, I'll see you in the summer. Part of me is really happy about it. It'll force me to stop thinking that this is just a few months and then I get done for a month, stopping myself from getting close to these people. And even moreso, it'll be that much of a surprise when I get back to see how much I've changed.

It's gonna be awesome!

Merf

So I don't speak 5 languages. I don't regularly play sports. I may not be the most outgoing person here.

But gosh. I really do like me.

I just want to be at home and sleep in my own bed. The comforts that I took for granted before are looking pretty sweet these days. This view is awesome, but it's not worth the cost, to me. Oh I'll love this trip, and I'll always look back on it fondly... but you know? Without my loved ones, this is just a lonely distant country. Beauty without love is nothing.

There's some things that I'm glad about, and one is that I'm NOT like these people. They think that drugs and sex will bring them happiness, they think that parading around these countries is what life is all about. For me, that's not happiness. Happiness is in being with my friends, in playing games, watching movies, and being simple. I LOVE being simple. Yeah from time to time I'd like to spice things up, but this is all a bit much. My horizons have definitely been broadened, but this isn't what I want to do for my whole life. I want to write my story, draw, spend time with my friends, and have a job that I like and lets me be home.

I'm finding that I like myself a lot more than I thought I did. I still intend to climb the mountain and play volleyball, I still want to be better, but I'm not unhappy with who I am anymore. It's only been two weeks, but I can already see what I've been blinded to, and I want to live my life, maybe one day have some kids, and find joy in little things.

Volley

Today between lunch and supper, I sat in my room as is my M. O. these days... but at supper a spanish girl (FROM SPAIN) named Barbara (it's fun to say, like barruh barruh uh), who goes by Bibi, asked if I was going to play volleyball. I was a little hesitant, because I'm not very good at sports, normally, but I said yes. It's better for me than sitting in my room ALL day.

So I played, I made a lot of mistakes, but I TRIED... and that's why I'm HERE! When I did good, they cheered for me. When I did bad, it was not the end of the world. I did pretty good, especially once I got into the groove. They play volleyball every thursday, so I'll probably make a habit of it.

I finished my fourth story post, which will probably conclude my first CHAPTER... hopefully you'll give it a good read. It may not be your cup of tea, but it's my thing, like it or don't.

I'm going to go take a shower, which can I tell you that after being here for almost two weeks now it still tickles my funny bone that the showers here are called douches. It's bad, but it's just amusing.

Hoping you're well.

Alone?

I sit in my room and wonder why it is I really came here. I'm not really making friends very well... mostly I'm just in a situation I'm really not used to. The people here like me ok, but I don't really want to be outgoing just now.

Like Remiel, I know that I came here to be stronger, but I don't know what that means, really. I had a lot of love going for me back home, and I know that it'll still be there when I get back. We're watching Lord of the Rings when I get back. No questions. Haha, and Lacey, you and I are definitely having a bleach marathon!

But the thing is, I'm finding strength in all the places I didn't expect it. Literally I'm gaining strength in my legs and adapting to very different sleeping conditions (didier snores and sleeps with the windows open which is frosty and insane). Mentally, I'm getting used to being alone. You know, I really enjoy it. At mealtimes there is always someone to talk to, and in class I'm not alone, but I come to relish the opportunities to come back to my room and work on my story or blog (I write in my story on notepad if the internet is fritzy)...

Also, the lack of people I really appreciate makes me enjoy my friends at home even more, and I want to go home, but I'm too excited to see how this all works out. The people here make me feel uninteresting, but so what? I don't have to be the center of attention. I think it's a blessing, because all my life I've been uncomfortable with being in the background, and here it's something I'm forced into.

I love you. I miss you. I hope things are going well.

Molly, hope you find a job soon.

Sara, I hope you get a breadstarter (:D).

Lacey, hope nursing's not kicking your butt too much.

The places where I'm not doing well I am learning, so don't worry about me, ok? I'm proving my existance. It's what I need right now. Thanks for letting me have this selfish year.

Lame Internet

I'm not sure how long my internet will hold out, but I just wanted to say that I love ya, and I'm having a great time... it's boring and exciting at the same time, and I feel like I've been here for years and at the same time only a few minutes.

Freestylin' with Venny and Lulu

Today I videotaped for a freestyle session. It was awesome. I wish that I was half as interesting as the people here. They speak like 5 languages, write music, sing, play instruments, and play sports all like you couldn't imagine.

But you know, I don't mind being the simple one. I'm the balanced character. I am down with anything, and I'm not too extreme about much, although there was an awkward moment where someone was saying that all they could do was stare at the principal's secretary (meaning they didn't speak french well enough to understand her), and I said "Yeah, she's smokin'!" (obviously taking another meaning of all they could do was stare).

...
...
...
Yeah.

But if I keep climbing this mountain and speaking french, if I get involved in activities, and go on these trips, I know I'll be that much closer to the person that I always wanted to be. Believe in me, because I wanna be someone to believe in.

Duck Duck Goose

Today we re-met one another here at Campus Adventiste du Saleve. It was like being 5 again and running around on the playground. We played big bootie, lumberjacks, soccer, tag, duck duck goose, and several card games.

We talked about where we're going for breaks and I realized that I don't have any plans at all. I was going to just ride the wave with someone else, but it seems that I should have planned this better. Vennard and Jared might let me tag along with them, but it didn't seem like their plans would allow it completely. I'm not quite up to traveling alone just yet, and it's kinda weighing me down. I hope it all works out. Coming home for Christmas is looking to be a nicer and nicer idea, haha. I'm just scared that my money won't hold out.

I haven't been spending any money, but I brought with me the bare minimum that I could bring, and it's probably going to be spread thin.

Today was bonding.
I have not considered any of these people friends until today. Maybe we still have some getting-to-know-each-other to do, but today was a big step. I started out very lonely today. I had to get up and leave during lunch because I couldn't talk to anyone. This is partially because the girl to my left only spoke German and a little French, the guy in front of me was the same, and the guy on my right had very broken English.

So I walked the hill. That devilish, awful, wonderful, freeing hill. I got to the top before everyone finished eating, and I went to Vespers. Sat next to Austin, a really funny girl who comes from Southern, and then after that about 20 of us created our own "Afterglow." I know you aren't terribly into religious things, but I am de temps en temps (from time to time). Singing together is always a plus in my book, and there was plenty of singing.

Apres (after), we went to my dorm neighbor's room and watched Remember the Titans (awesome movie).

Maintenent (now) Didier et moi regardons le Geneve (we're looking at Geneva) and can I just repeat, I will forever lament that this view isn't coming with me. The rest of my life. It could be a little warmer, but it is pretty bien. I could write most of this in French and translate, but Frenglish is so much fun.

I'm doing better. I'm still a little slow at this friends thing, but it's only the first week, and I do have people who are friendly. I'm sure that by the end of this trip they'll be closer. We're like a family because we have to spend so much time together.

Well it's 1:30 (7:30 EST) and I need to sleep, but here's the words to my favorite song for the mood and moment:

La Meme Histoire: We're All in the Dance

Life's a dance, we all have to do
What does the music require?
People are moving together
Close as the flames in a fire

Feel the beat; music and rhyme
While there is time.

We all go 'round and 'round
Partners of lost and found
Looking for one more chance
All I know is,
We're all in the dance

Night and Day, the music plays on
We are all part of the show
While we can hold on to someone
Even though life won't let us go

Feel the beat; music and rhyme
While there is time.


We all go round and round
Partners of lost and found
Looking for one more chance
All I know is,
We're all in the dance

We're all in the dance

We all go round and round
Partners of lost and found
Looking for one more chance
All we know is,
We're all in the dance

Up, Up, and Away

Before this trip, I don't believe I ever knew what it was to deserve something. I feel closer to the person I want to be... The climb from the city of Collonges to the University is the most intense experience I've ever had, and the whole way up I hated it. I hated myself for being out of shape, I hated the hill, I was an all around unhappy camper. But reaching that summit, feeling the breeze and sitting down, and realizing that I really could do more? It's making me cry just writing about it. It felt so right. It felt like me. I am capable of mountains, and for my whole life I've been settling for level ground. And that breeze... I've never enjoyed anything so much. I can't even express it. I can't tell you. My heart is bursting... I know that by the time I return, I'll be able to climb mountains. I'll know a little more of what I am capable of.

Today I met myself... and I actually liked me.

Listen to this

L'Amour de la Musique

It was amazing, to live the music.
To touch the rhythm, to taste the beat, to feel the lyrics... To just be a part of a group of people who I just met and know next to nothing about... and chill. It was not a concert that I went to, no. In fact most of the music we listened to I would never listen to on my own, but it was just awesome. I just want to swim in the music and relax.

Registration was today, and I've been all over the place, until my neighbor Vennard in the dorm threw out an open invitation to hang out and listen to music, including some that he'd written. Ludine Pierre came in and shared some of her music as well, and her voice was amazing. She sang her own lyrics, which she normally would play guitar to, but we didn't have one handy... I could listen to her sing all day long and never get tired. It was a lot like Lilly Allen, and it was just so relaxing.

I'm seriously not sure how they expect me to study with all these awesome distractions.

Seriously.

Beebee et Didier

If said correctly, the title to this blog rhymes quite humorously.

The sun is setting on the mountains and the sky is raked with orange and purple. Fog is rolling in from every direction to make a blanket over the valley below. The homes and stores have begun to turn on lights, and in lake Geneva there is a jet of water that shoots far above every skyscraper. The day was warm, but as the sun leaves a breeze rolls through my open window and cools the room. Though the city is far below, there is so much green land, so many trees, so many flowers in every direction as far as you can see. The houses are all gorgeous, the streets are all clean. Down the hall and outside, people are speaking French and even the sound is breathtaking.

Though you aren't here, I'm not sad. I miss you, I love you, but I know I'll see you again, and this change is what I needed. La langue est tres belle. I'm making new friends and I'm learning how to be ok. I'm alive. I don't have to have a future to worry about right now.

And let me tell you, the exercise is intense. I'm on the "third floor," which is what Americans would call the fourth floor. I get to go up three flights of stairs a day, not to mention everything here is walking. You walk all day. The food might make up for it, however. Holy smokin' potato factory. Cheese and bread, we had crepes tonight, salads, cereal, all kinds of good stuff. They have the best yogurt I've ever had EVER.

I'm doing well. My roommate is cool too.

Susan Melton: Legal Assistant and the WarHammer speaker kid.

Real quick because I can't charge my laptop at the moment, I learned a couple of lessons today. The first was from a woman named Susan Melton. I am of the firm belief that if I can deal with that woman for 7 hours in close proximity, I can deal with just about anything. She was rude, she didn't stop boozing from the minute we hopped onto the plane, and she was constantly complaining that a) this airline isn't as nice as the one her company usually sends her on for the annual cruise, or b) that every other human being on the plane needs to shut up so she can talk and sleep. Plus she smelled like the baddest case of B.O. I have ever experienced ever. At the end of the trip, I had been so pleasant, however, that she gave me her card and told me if I was ever in the area she'd take me to lunch. Out from left field? I think so yes.

After we connected onto another flight there was a kid about my age that wasn't very talkative... until someone nearly smashed a poster he had in the overhead, which caused him to speak up enough to say that he needed it for a conference he was having. And speaking about. And it was WARHAMMER. Which is like a futuristic Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. So the lesson I gained from him is that no matter what it is, I'm going to do what I feel is the right path for me, dash the consequences.