My Own Story

It's like reading a story, you know? You always place yourself in the role of a character, usually the main character. For me, I tend to place myself as the friend character. Never the main character, even in my own life. I tend to think that I'm just there to help advance the storyline. Whether that's the cause or a result of my low self esteem, I don't know.

What I do know is that here, in France, I can't help but place myself as the main character. I'm here living my life and developing my storyline. I'm not a background character in my own story. The thing that I love the most about my story is that it is always CHOCK-full of dynamic people, whether for better or for worse.

As with every other story I've ever read, I'm impatient to reach the end... but this time I'd rather not see how many pages are left. If today's the final chapter, bravo. Well written, I loved it. But I hope that I've got so much further to go. So today, I hope that you curl up on the couch and just enjoy your own tale. Cheers.

The End is the Beginning is the End

Traveling overseas, countries, and mountains, I hoped to find only one thing. It was the one thing that I couldn't find at home, and it was the most important thing in the world. I would trade anything for the chance to find this one thing, simple and unassuming.

I was looking for myself. I couldn't find myself in a heaping pile of what everyone else thought, and so I had to get away. Tabula Rossa. A blank slate to work with. I could try my hand at being anyone else. So I was George. I tried my hand at my birth name, like an alias that if I didn't like, I could always drop and say "just kidding, I'm really Jed."

I tried to do the things a cooler, better me would do. I pushed my boundaries, asked myself all the questions I needed to be asked, and did my best, and after a while I realized... I really liked what I had become. I listened to the music I liked, watched the shows I wanted, and talked about what I wanted to talk about. If I didn't make friends, it was not too important, and I only had a year to worry about it.

Then it dawned on me... I'd always been this person. Maybe I put a little more effort in, but for the most part George and Jed were the same person despite my best efforts. I'm on a trip that's costing thousands and thousands of dollars, looking at monuments and landscapes that are the pride of nations and the best thing I have seen is that the person I want to be and the person I am are pretty darn close to the same thing.

And the best part is, I'm not the only one that likes me. Playing volleyball I can be a little clumsy, and I make mistakes, but I'm pretty good. I'm unpredictable, and as long as I play every week or so, I do really well. My serves are wild and, if done correctly, unbeatable. I left early one night after winning the game from ten points behind and everyone clapped for me. It wasn't expected, it wasn't necessary, but I did good. I've never felt that way before. Nobody was patronizing me, I did that well on my own.

I climbed the mountain, and yeah it took me a while, but it felt so much better getting to the top that way. I traversed Ireland wearing dirty clothes and no deodorant with two girls who remain my friends to this day. I have a roommate and he's pretty chill with me and my music, and so far the only argument we've even kinda gotten into is whether or not to leave the window open. I'm getting along with everyone here really well, some like me too much, I have a bit of a shadow right now. It's flattering and all but I just need to breathe. It's like looking at 16 year old me without the funny part or the creative part.

I also really appreciate the smaller things in my life, like solitude. I have the ability to have it most of the time and it's so awesome to be able to be just by myself and write or draw or do whatever I want without social obligations, but if I want someone to hang out with there's usually someone to hang out with. I also have begun to truly appreciate American food. Holy smokes the food here is strange and it fills you up until you leave the cafeteria, then you suddenly ask yourself if it's April Fools.

I appreciate the life I have. Maybe I'll be less restless when I get back to the states. I've seen so much already, and there's so much more to come*!










*in case more doesn't come, I'm having a wondeful life and a sudden car accident won't leave me unsatisfied with my life.

It's All Downhill From Here!

I'm going to punch the next person who says that to me. Today I hiked up to the top of the Saleve, which took almost 2 hours. It was the absolute most intense experience of my life. I felt like chopping my legs off, vomiting, and quitting. I did rest about 15 times, no exaggerating, but I never gave up. At the top, the only real satisfaction was knowing I had done it, because the view was... a bunch of cow pastures. Not even remotely worth it. In the distance you could see Mt. Blanc, which might have been cooler if I had not been there two days ago and been at the top above the clouds. Anyways, even the satisfaction of having climbed it soon faded when I discovered that the way back was just as painful and twice as dangerous. In short, I'm not climbing that mountain again. If I do, it'll be long into the future.

In other news, after tomorrow I intend to write my story again.

The Great Planners

Today we spent 4 hours planning our trip. Everything was very expensive because we have a break in less than a month and hadn't even decided where to go. We were going to go to Tuscany and see the countryside, but airfare was ridiculous and we could only fly from BVA, which is marked as a Paris airport, even though it's about two hours from Paris. We then went into a big session of where to go: find another way to Tuscany? Corsica? Travel around France? Poland and the Czech Republic? Spain? Finally I pushed for Ireland. Everyone was concerned that it was expensive, and for flights and hostels, it ended up being nearly 300 dollars, but honestly, we've been saving up for this. We were told that we'd be needing to have at least four times that much, and we've got 4 breaks. This is what all of us wanted to do the most, and we're all really happy with it. I'm obviously going to be killed to death by Jeff and Linda if I don't get something good for them while I'm there, but I'll be sure to do that. Fortunately, next time we'll make sure to plan ahead better, so hopefully it'll be less expensive for airfare. But Ireland is right there at the top of my list and I'll make sure to post some good photos!

Mt. Blanc

My head wasn't in the clouds today, no. The clouds didn't come close. My head was spinning, because the pressure was so different on top of that mountain, the tallest in Europe. The peaks of other mountains broke through the sea of clouds, like islands of their own. The world seemed a much smaller place from the top, and there were for a short time there was no thought given to petty problems . We came part of the way back to earth, and we had an exploration of the mountains. Three of the group jumped into a big green lake in the mountain, but I declined. I need to stop saying no to opportunities... though I really didn't want everyone to see my pudge. Maybe when i lose some weight I'll pull something like that, but for now it's not on the itinerary.

A very tiring, but very awesome day. Check the photos out on facebook.

Allons-y! Monter la Saleve!

Today we're going to climb the mountain. I can't express how nervous this makes me. One of the people here is telling me that the steepest part of the climb from Collonges to the school is tamer than the least steep part of the Saleve. Translation: Out of shape Jed is going to have many difficulties getting his butt up that mountain. It is rather misty today, however... so I don't know if they'll try to do it another day, but either way, I really want to get up that mountain some time. It'll probably be the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

But I can hope that the rewards will be well worth the effort. Everyone says that the view from the top is nigh unbeatable, and knowing that I got to the top? That's what I want.

Tuesdays I Meet My Dealer...

Class seemed to go on forever today, which is ironic, because we got completely done at 12:40. Then after lunch, we went to Geneva. Geneva is amazing, can I just tell you. For 2 Euros or 3 Francs you can ride the trams for an hour, so if you're not spending a long time there, you could theoretically ride to any part of town and come back.

We went to the park in the middle of the University of Geneva's campus, and there was a big, tree lined road with a gelato stand and hundreds of benches, it was gorgeous. We sat there all day and watched the people go by. When some other group members met us, we started speaking english and a girl named Farah came up and said "Thank God, I was starting to get sick of speaking French." She was smoking, and one of the guys with us noticed it was not a cigarette. Weed. He tried some, she gave him her number and life story, it was very awesome just meeting someone out of the blue like that. I'm sure if I did drugs it'd be even more awesome.

The park was so warm and bright, and the grass looked so soft. Next time I'll make sure to bring a blanket and just spread out. It was really awesome just being there, listening to the French and German and Italian... I loved it. I'll upload pictures to my FB when Ludine puts them on the internet.

G'night, all.